Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Throwing out those rules

It's time to re-invent, to think differently, to throw all of those assumptions I've made along the way that have cemented into facts in my brain become hardened 'facts' in my consciousness. Because all of society is something of a facade.  Popular culture - popular to whom? - is a mess of what we think that person, magazine or group of people thinks.

On Wild, staring each other down. This dragonfly doesn't care what my hair looks like!
Luckily I don't know what all of those other people are thinking - I just think I know what they're thinking. I put ideas in their heads and conversations. What I'm really doing is revealing my own fears and insecurities. And, unfortunately, there are still more weighing on me than I wish were present.

Those concerns I have for myself
  • what I look like
  • how I greet others
  • what I say
  • how I wish to live my life
  • so many things...
All of these, I assume reflects as negatively in other people's minds when I have doubt. Doubt that I don't fit in. Doubt that someone won't like me. Doubt that someone will miscontrue my intentions. But I have to feel less responsible for how I think others will think. Damn, this is getting way confusing, but it makes rational sense for me. But in an irrational, I may be slightly crazy, kind of way.

Because, if each person truly thought all of the ideas and judgments that each of I put in their heads, those heads would explode in a Terry Gilliam show of fireworks, splattering grey-matter-goo everywhere.

Now is the time to be more mindful.  (Well, some would say, years ago was the time, but 'there is a season' and my season is now.) As long as I can stick with the Kurt Von. adage 'You've got to be kind', then that's all I need concern myself with. I also have to be kind to myself and release these assumptions I've built up based on facts and ideas whose origins have faded away. Living in this moment, I need only be the way I'd like to be.

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